So, you' re already, probably judging and thinking what's this gals problem?!
This
post is about MY experience while attempting breastfeeding, how hard it
was, how much I cried, how I felt so helpless, so judged and how I
tried everything I could, to successfully breastfeed. I'll probably
leave some details because number 1 I'll forget or number 2 I would be
writing for a week! I am not a writer, my first language is Spanish so I
am sorry in advance for any typos.
Currently, I have 3
kids. I have 2 girls that are 4 and 5 years old and a Boy that was just
born 3 months ago. I am epileptic, I have hypothyroidsm , I am
hypoglycemic. That is me.When I had my first baby and second baby, I was
on a really, really bad medicine that could not only affect my babies
in the womb but also if I decided to breastfeed. I was even told by one
doctor, that I might as well finish the pregnancy because it would more
than likely already be "damaged". Yes, you just read that correctly. I
decided with my first, to stop the medicines cold turkey while
pregnant, even If I had an episode. VERY IGNORANT , DO NOT DO THAT!
Thankfully though, I did not have an episode until 5 days after I had
delivered her. I decided to give her colostrum and milk for those 5 days
but when I had to start my med again I did not continue. My kidneys had
to be constantly monitored with this med and the last thing I would
want is for my child to go through that process as well. With my second
child, I did the same thing, but only lasted 4 months without the med
when I had the biggest episode ever. Thankfully, she was born as healthy
as can be and is a happy little girl!
Fast forward to
my third child, I was able to now be on a new medicine for which I was
given the "go "to breastfeed and take it while pregnant. So, on april
22, I gave birth again,to a happy and healthy baby boy. I started my
journey to breastfeed, was on support groups, was on a bunch of vitamins
and drank mothers milk tea and fenugreek tablets, pumped milk everyday
to help with my supply since my medicines, the ones that have permitted
me to be a mom, to be a wife, to live happily and healthily... cause me
to have a VERY low supply. I did not want to introduce formula or
supplement. I kept breastfeeding in those first weeks. I was so happy.
However, my baby boy was not! He was fussy, he was cranky, he cried all
day and all night. He would barely sleep, unless it was in my arms. My
mommy instinct told me something was wrong, my medicines were causing
him to be like this. My baby was hungry all of the time! I called my OB
and had me reffered some domperidone. Domperidone is a medicine that is
not recommended for this, but its been said to increase your supply and
so I wanted to try it. I tried domeperidone for 2 days when I broke out
in hives everywhere, my eye and lips were swollen.
Needless
to say, I was on steroids and allergy medicines for a week. I decided
to experiment when he was one month and go ahead and try a bottle of
formula and "wala". My baby was quiet, my baby was sleeping, my baby
gave me a SMILE! I knew right there and then that I could not force
something that was not good for my baby. After talking with our pediatrician , my primary,
my OB and my neurologist we all decided it was best for his health that
he continue on formula. He has been the happiest baby ever since. I have
been able to enjoy him, and not worry if my medicines are having an
effect on him. I have been able to overcome the fact that I CANNOT
BREASTFEED. I have been able to understand that my babies would much
more prefer me taking my medicines and being here with them, healthy and
happy than to breastfeed.
What I cannot overcome is
the JUDGING from SOME moms who do breastfeed, the generalizing, the
critiquing of moms who give formula. This post is for you, DON'T JUDGE!
You do not know the situations of those moms, of any mom! No wonder you
have so many moms who don't want to ask for advice, ask for support, why
would they? If they are judged every second of it! Recently I visited
the facebook of a DR , believe she was called dra. parrilla which by the
way has a really good book about breastfeeding in spanish. She's a
lactation supporter and for the book so am I. Someone commented that she
was cruel for generalizing and saying that formula is bad, that you are
causing life long damage to your babies for doing so and talking badly
about moms who decide to do so. The person who commented couldn't
breastfeed because she also was epilpetic and she mentioned how she has 4
kids and they are all as healthy as can be. She even described how she
had friends that were vegans, did not vaccinate and breastfed and their
kids were in the hospital all the time. Just goes to show, that it does
NOT matter what you do or don't do it can happen to ALL OF US. She ended
her post saying, please dont generalize, dont talk about moms who give
formula as if they were bad moms, and she even said that her respects
were with all of them for breastfeeding since she knew it was a great
sacrifice. Some people liked her post, and commented in her favor and in
a matter of 4 minutes they were all DELETED. Another great example of
how extremist some people can be. Just because she had a different
opinion and gave her a piece of her mind since she wanted to breastfeed
and couldn't, they deleted her comments without any words of
encouragement, of support, hey, even if it was to fire back, I would
have respected that. But nope, deleted all her messages. To that girl,
Marie, this post is also for you, I am here, I understand you and YOU
ARE NOT ALONE!
Let's educate ourselves, lets
encourage breastfeeding but STOP the bullying and RESPECT and BE
CONSIDERATE of moms who don't because you do NOT know their situation.
-Yasmin
